How to survive a bitter breakup?
And Believe in Love again!
Yes, we are going to talk about the worst subject … broken hearts! But the best part is we are going to find some positive ways to survive and then thrive after a bitter breakup. There are a few very important first steps to move you from bitter and on to being thankful and ready to love again! Yes, you deserve to believe in love again and be able to grow from past relationships.
First, instead of being focused on how horrible the break up was to your life and heart, write down ten good things that came from your relationship. Take time to truly let yourself find good aspects to the relationship. You can be upset with him or her but there was something that made you choose to get in a relationship with this person. Next write ten things you will not miss now that it is over. All those details you would love to delete from your memory card both figuratively and literally.
Allowing yourself to make these lists helps give perspective without tearing the other person down or yourself. It is important to give yourself some credit and logic on why things ended, but realize that not everything was horrible. Many times people completely regret their relationships once the breakup happens but honestly as long as you were not physically or financially harmed there often can be something very good that came out of your journey together.
Second, take all the possessions gained from the relationship and put them aside. The reality is the initial emotional choice is to burn or destroy any memory but the important part is to wait until your heart and head catch up with each other. You don't want to toss something you'll regret and you don't want to hold on to something that will not let you move on. The power of tangible items can be a memory that freezes you in time. Putting them in a box and out of sight will help clear your emotional view while you clear your heart space. If it is really hard to take things out of sight then ask a friend to store your items for you. Sometimes with a “gate keeper” you might try a little less to sneak back and check old “memories”.
Third, decide you deserve better! It is time to raise your deserve level, regardless of your ex’s comments or views about you. Get clear as to what you want in a relationship and decide to make realistic expectations but look within to find ways you can attract someone that will bring you an opportunity for a healthier relationship. Look at all your past relationship and find traits you like and ones that you don't like. Make a list so you can refresh your thinking to attract the relationship you have always dreamed about. You attract what you feel you deserve. Take the time to refresh your view of yourself so you can be blessed with a man or woman worthy of being with the dynamic person you are today!
Now get out and have fun. Don't jump into a new relationship right away but have fun with friends. Laughter and feeling good about your life is the best medicine. Be proud of yourself for being vulnerable enough to love and don't give anymore time or energy to the one that didn't appreciate you... it's time to grab your moments and be ready for the right relationship!
Relationship expert, Jacqueline Nichols founded AwakenYourFuture.com. and CityGirlMatchmaking.com, where her companies provide a wide range of personal dating and relationship support services. She has more than 20 years of experience helping women and men find success in love. Over that time she has gained a unique perspective that truly makes a difference when individuals and couples seek to find love, enjoy love and keep love.
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